


no one likes tense formations

by Ford_Ye_Fiji



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005), Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
Genre: 11 I mean, Crossover, Fusion, Gen, Humor, I wrote this when I was reading the book, Just a drabble, couldn't resist writing a little ficlet, eleven is either lazy, it sounded just like him, just a spot of fun, or Both, or a dork, silliness, yes the 'towel' is the fourth doctors scarf, you know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-05
Updated: 2018-03-05
Packaged: 2019-03-27 04:58:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13873653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ford_Ye_Fiji/pseuds/Ford_Ye_Fiji
Summary: Eleven and Clara pop into the Restaurant at the End of the Universe.





	no one likes tense formations

Clara turned wide eyes up to the gangly man beside her, "Wait, so this is the Restaurant at the End of the Universe? W- when was it built? This is _the End_ of the Universe."

The man beside her merely laughed and adjusted his bow tie, "It has been built on the fragmented remains of…" he paused, confident grin slowly fading, "it _will be_ built on the fragmented… that is to say, it _will have been_ built by this time, and indeed has been—"

He gave a great puff of air as Clara giggled, "Well... Just a little bit of Time Lord science."

"That's not a proper explanation, Doctor, and you know it."

The Doctor frowned, "The grammar is far to confusing... Though not nearly as confusing as River... Anyway I could get into it, if you really needed me too."

"No, that's alright-" she began, but the Doctor had already begun talking in that enthusiastic way of his, where he waved his arms and moved in a fluid and almost impressive display of awkwardness, "Now Clara, the only person to consult about this matter is Dr. Dan Streetmentioner."

The Doctor smiled cheerfully, "That was a fun alias. Anyway, Dr. Dan Streetmentioner's, or rather my _Time Traveler's Handbook of 1001 Tense Formations_ will tell you how to describe something that was about to happen to you in the past before you avoided it by time-jumping forward two days in order to avoid it. The event will be described differently according to whether you are talking about it from the standpoint of your own natural time, from a time in the further future, or a time in the further past and is further complicated by the possibility of conducting conversations while you are actually traveling from one time to another with the intention of becoming your mother and father's best friend from childhood with the primary purpose to murder your mother's other best friend. I may or may not have been drinking way too much ginger beer when I wrote it."

Clara rubbed her forehead, "I'm an English teacher and that doesn't make any sense at all."

"No, probably not. But don't worry, Clara! You're not stupid most of my readers get as far as the Future Semiconditionally Modified Subinverted Plagal Past Subjunctive Intentional before giving up! I believe River was the only one who could get a little farther than that."

Clara looked around, eager to end the conversation, "Look, can we just get a table?"

"Of course, still have your towel, though, right?"

She tugged on the red and black terrycloth flung around her slim cardigan covered shoulders, "Yes, Doctor, I still have the towel."

The Doctor nodded and pulled the end of his multicolored towel out of his pockets. The thing was more like a broad endless scarf than anything else. Luckily the clumsy Time Lord decided not to pull the ridiculously long towel out into the open and instead stuffed the end of it back into his pocket.

Clara raised an eyebrow at the pocket, which didn't even have a slight lump despite all the cloth undoubtedly shoved into its depths, "You still haven't told me how you can fit that hideous thing in there."

He shrugged sheepishly, "Time Lord science?"

"Don't you have a better explanation by now?"

The Doctor pouted indignantly, "Look, if I say Time Lord science, that's a code for I don't have time to explain it."

"Yes, but it's gets a bit repetitive after awhile, chin boy."

He wrinkled his nose at the nickname before he thought a moment, abnormally prominent chin coming to rest on his chest. Finally he smiled, hair flopping in his eyes as he perked up and spoke in an almost question, "Bigger on the inside?"

"There we go, that's better. Now let's eat."

"Excellent idea, Clara! Let's go meet the meat!"

"...What?"


End file.
